What's in your parent's wallet?

Elder Care

For the Telegram
Posted 5/31/17

For those of us who are organizationally challenged, one of the hardest parts about caring for someone else is keeping track of their stuff.

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What's in your parent's wallet?

Elder Care

Posted

TORRINGTON – For those of us who are organizationally challenged, one of the hardest parts about caring for someone else is keeping track of their stuff.
It is hard enough keeping tabs on your own belongings, and then you may have a spouse or child who thinks that you are vice president in charge of their possessions, too. Adding a care recipient who really cannot keep track of these things, especially if they have some form of dementia, can complicate things even further.
The most difficult situation is when your parent or loved one still believes they are wholly “independent”. If you try and look in their wallet, jacket, purse or pants pockets, they accuse you of snooping and prying. Then, the next time you are at the doctor’s office, Dad brings out this moth-eaten piece of cardboard that he claims is his Medicare card. You cannot read the name or the number on it, and it’s not even clear what color the thing is.

What’s a caregiver to do? Caregivers who have been managing a loved one’s finances either through a verbal agreement or by using a financial power of attorney probably know what is going on in their wallet or purse, but it is always a good idea to double check their accounts and keep track of their spending. Catching a glimpse of their wallet can tell you a great deal about their spending habits, changes in their credit, and whether or not they are capable of managing their own finances and health care. But if you haven’t been able to get them to involve you in these things, or you haven’t even considered the chaos that may be lurking in their wallet, you can adopt one of two strategies.
There is the straightforward, “Hey, Mom, I’m going to clean out my purse and throw away all these ancient receipts. Shall we do it together? I’ll make a pot of tea and it will be a
hen party.”
Then there is the more efficient, effective strategy. Simply wait until your loved one is taking a nap to assess the situation.
Once you have either gotten them on board to do some purging or set them up in their favorite recliner for a mid-afternoon rest, the difficult part begins: sorting through a wad of credit cards, reward cards, coupons, receipts, insurance cards, IDs, checks, and who knows what else.