Things that leave a mark

Carolyn Lewis
Posted 10/21/21

My husband Toby and I very seldom eat out

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Things that leave a mark

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My husband Toby and I very seldom eat out. Not because we wouldn’t like to, but because it would be dangerous for Toby. He had polio in his neck as a young child and spent time in an iron lung in Children’s Hospital in Denver. As a result of that, he has to be very careful how he swallows because he chokes easily. As he gets older, it gets a little worse, but he is very fortunate that he still has a voice and is able to eat whatever he wants to. He just has to be careful, and he pays attention to what he is doing and knows what not to do. 

Many things that happen to us in our youth leave their mark, and some of them show up as we grow up and have to deal with life. We have scars from little accidents with bicycles or horses or games we played, but we might also have some scars on the inside that we have to deal with as we grow, and if we don’t deal with them right away, they grow and fester and hinder our happiness in our lives with our marriages, jobs, or friendships. 

While talking with friends recently, they started talking about things their fathers had said to them as young girls that had affected their whole lives. Because of a critical remark their fathers had said, they had spent their lives trying to be “perfect “and to live up to their father’s expectations. That had left a great mark on their lives for many years to come. We never outgrow our need for encouragement and acceptance. 

Life’s hard enough on all of us to try to live up to the examples we see on TV and in magazines, and to be comfortable with who we really are as sons and daughters, spouses, parents and workers, without extra pressure from our parents. Life is so busy it’s hard to take time to asses our lives and really be comfortable being ourselves.

As I thought about that conversation, I remembered that we don’t just have a biological father, we have a heavenly Father who formed us in the womb and created us just exactly as He wanted us to be. I had insecurities throughout my life that I was unable to deal with on my own. When I received Jesus into my life and made Him Lord of my life, I began to see more and more verses in the Bible that told me that God created me exactly the way He wanted me to be, and He taught me through Bible studies and other means over the years how to develop what He gave me and how to use it effectively for His purposes. I learned my identity in Christ and that gave me confidence to be comfortable being me. 

It’s really important for each of us to realize that God doesn’t make mistakes. He gave each of us exactly what we needed to deal with our life and the situations we will encounter. But we need to seek Him and ask Him to guide us as we read and study the Bible, and learn to be confident in being who we are and not wanting to be like someone else.

Psalm 139:13,14 “For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well.” It seems to me that a good place to start is to thank God for the way He made us. That will be hard for some to do, but it is necessary to set our mind to trusting Him. Knowing that He made us exactly as He wanted us to be helps us to understand that He made us for a purpose. That helps give us the confidence to continue to seek Him for insight each day. And over the years I have noticed that God gives us direction and opportunities to encourage us along the path as we seek to understand what we are to do. He is a gracious and loving God, and He puts people in our path that need us and the gift that God gave us to use. We simply have to continue to grow in our knowledge of Him and let Him help us to grow into the people He created us to be.